Inventor, Rocket-Propelled Anti-Gravity Suit (Patent Pending)
"I'm most concerned with Halle Berry. She doesn't return my calls anymore. I've tried writing her; she sends the letters back unread. I'm very upset. I thought we had something for real. I just tell myself that restraining order means 'I love you.'"
Server, Lorenzo's Trattoria
"I'm concerned for and about Ralph Nader. He's fighting the good fight, but he's not gonna win. Instead he'll pull away votes from the liberal Democrats, just like last time, and Republicans are always going to vote Republican. If I'm voting for Nader, I might as well be voting for George W., is what it amounts to, unless everybody rises up and decides that Nader's it, and we all go for it."
Decorated World War II Veteran
"President Bush. When you go into a country looking for a big stash of weapons and, let's face it, as of today they haven't found any, you figure somebody made a mistake someplace. And right now you've got 500-some-odd soldiers dead, and when you lose that many and end up with nothing in your hand, you'd better have a hell of an explanation besides, 'Well, somebody gave me bad information.' That doesn't buy it, not for that many people dead."
"The Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of Tibet. He was exiled from his land and I'm worried about his well-being. I admire his beliefs. He teaches compassion, and compassion is what we need right now. I'm also concerned about the Tibetan people not being free in their own land to practice their religion, which is a very positive religion."
Wholesaler, Government Surplus Cheese
"Johnny Depp, definitely. That guy has gone off the deep end. Did you catch the maniacal look on his face in Pirates of the Caribbean? And he looked so, um, strung-out in From Hell, but that may just have been his character. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, except I hear that he lives in France, and that's the above-all end for Johnny Depp."
Executive Secretary, National Family Planning
"Our new Catholic archbishop, Raymond Burke. I know a lot of St. Louisans are standing behind him, that he isn't afraid to speak his mind, but I don't necessarily think a very opinionated archbishop is a good thing. Saying that he would deny communion to Catholic lawmakers if they don't take a pro-life stance is cutting too fine of a line between church and state. He needs to be more temperate and not so quick to judge politicians."