Sushi Chef, Cha Yoon Elixir & Tea Bar
"Anything that involves money -- as long as I don't get caught!"
"Probably public nudity. That's a crime, isn't it, indecent exposure? But is it really a crime? I mean, indecency is a very subjective thing. A shirtless guy mowing his lawn in August could be indecent. And nudity ... public nudity could be liberating, unless you're the only one doing it."
Jewelry Sales, Sam Light Loans
"My favorite crime is testing fruit in the supermarket to see how fresh they are. I can go through the produce section and have brunch if I want. We're talking at least twenty grapes at a time; maybe I'll do an apple or a nectarine -- just a bite, though! So, you see, I'm committing some serious crimes here."
"Drunk-and-disorderly -- it's an adrenaline flow, a negative attitude in a law-and-order world. It's me on a good night!"
Institute of Totally Useless Skills
"Adultery, because if you get caught you might get beat down, but you ain't going to jail!"
Custodian, Shell Building
"My favorite crime is jaywalking because it gets me to where I'm going faster. Funny, though -- I get upset seeing others do it, but then at times I do it. Like, if I see my bus coming, I'm going to cross the street against the traffic, right in the middle of the block if I have to! And I figure if I get killed, it's going to be on that reckless driver's insurance and not on mine -- one of my kids would sue for me."