Matt "Matty-O" O'Brien
Organizer, Roadkill Cook-off and Exotic Animal Expo
"Reverend Al Sharpton showing up for a court date."
"Lots of things I'd pay to see -- an unrigged presidential election, Osama bin Laden captured and a movie that really follows the novel."
Genome Researcher, Washington University School of Medicine
"I'd pay to see George W. Bush in a tricked-out S&M den, like a cellar with chains and handcuffs and whips all around. He's captive, strung up, nothing on but his tighty-whities, and he's crying, about to get 'the treatment' from some robust Teuton dressed in lederhosen."
Aesthetician, Serendipity Salon
"I'd pay good money to see which jackass would trim my toenails -- trim them with his teeth."
Freelance Pothole Repair
"Monkeys on goats, going around a racetrack, and you could bet on them the same as you would a horse race, only this'd be more fun because the goats would go every which way and the monkeys would wear little jockey suits and clown around, and everyone would laugh like crazy. If Fairmount Park would do just one monkey-goat race a week, I'd go."
Server-Bartender, Gator Flats
"Janet Jackson's tits on TV for longer than the half-second that they were on [the] Super Bowl halftime [show]. Can you believe people are suing TV stations because they say the sight injured them? Injured them? C'mon! Who has not seen tits in their life? I want shock value. I want to see the whole nation flip out with a good look at those jay-jays. I want to see it again!"