Hey, kids, are you shopping for an expensive luxury loft? If you're down in the Washington Avenue club district on Sunday, Sept. 2, that's all you'll be able to do, because the fourth Washington Avenue Beat Festival
is for adults only. All five participating clubs -- Galaxy, Lo, Rue 13, Tangerine and Velvet -- serve drinks, as in alcohol -- that stuff in your parents' cabinet that either smells like brake fluid or tastes like syrup from canned peaches. (Go find United We Stand, the three-day outdoor rave near Eldridge, Mo. -- it's all-ages and costs just $10 for the entire event.)Now, you adults: Set down those drinks, and we'll review random body parts. Wrists
: Good -- suitable for the $10 wristband, allowing access to all Beat Festival venues, from 9 p.m.-3 a.m. Sunday. Ears
: Oh, hell yeah! It's highly recommended that you fill these with some slamming drum & bass, courtesy of Lo, which brings you headliners DJ Troll, of the Cincinnati Bomb Squad (pictured) and DJ Dread from Tampa, the latter appearing to fetishize his taste for old tracks mixed up with the new. Local tec-steppers Jim K and Pepe jump in, too. Ass
: That is correct. Appropriate for, among other things, lounging in the lounge. Take your ass to Tangerine for the cool live jazzy-house stylings of the Urban Jazz Naturals, or shake it at Rue 13 with DJ Alexis' deep house accompanied by Chris Hanson's live Latin percussion. Veteran St. Louisan Astroboy drops in from the stars. Feet
: Uh-oh, are you wearing athletic shoes??
The men at Velvet's door will point at your rubber soles and shake their serious heads. You'll have to dance barefoot when Charles Feelgood blows the roof off the hard house. The best of the Moonshine stable, DJ Feelgood delivers that pummeling mechanical beat without sacrificing the funk. Deep house warms up the venue all night, provided in part by Chicago up-and-comer Mike Steele. Head
: If it's smart, it will take you to the Galaxy for the first St. Louis appearance of the Nortec Collective. Hailing from Tijuana, as many as nine techno producers will crowd the stage to generate a south-of-the-border electronic vibe. Infused with sounds of traditional norteo
, the collective's singles range from Cuervo-smooth to beaty bombast. There's no hip-hop on the bill this year, so check Nortec for the best set of the night.