Richard B. Riddick-- Dick to his friends, if he had any-- is an intergalactic meathead who's glowered through three movies, two video games, and a cartoon. He's both the luckiest and unluckiest man alive: lucky because he's impossible to kill, unlucky because everyone keeps trying. In the opening, near-silent sequence of Riddick
, the laconic sequel to 2004's overblown schlock opera The Chronicles of Riddick
, our hero (Vin Diesel) is nearly slain by a space vulture, a space hyena, and several space eels. “There are bad days, and then there are legendary bad days,” he growls. Eh, in his earlier flicks he's already survived an asteroid accident, nocturnal monsters, a broiling sun, and a front-row seat for Dame Judi Dench as an Air Elemental named Aereon. On his scale, a killer space eel is just an excuse for sushi. Unfortunately, Diesel has nothing to act with but his fists-- Riddick is saddled with goofy goggles and CGI night vision eyes. This time, to escape a planet, Riddick reveals his location to a network of bounty hunters and waits until he can kill off enough of them to steal their ship. Behold, the entirety of the plot. It's murderer versus murderers, with Riddick facing off against 11 bounty hunters who include a tremulous Christian (Nolan Gerard Funk), a badass lesbian (Katee Sackhoff), and a giant (wrestler Dave Bautista, who's like The Rock with a '90s goatee). The only reason to root for Riddick is that his name is on the ticket stub. But he's so dull and the hunters so weird that we're literally cheering for the movie to kill off its personality, one throat slash at a time.