Ready to get your fiesta on? You'd better be, because your man R. Kelly is a-comin' to town. Chances are, if you're drunk off in the club, you'll feel his shit. And more than likely, if you're a moneymaking thug, you'll feel his shit. The Windy City's king of R&B schizophrenia is known for jams alternately filthy ("R&B Thug") and redemptive ("I Believe I Can Fly") and pulls off both convincingly. Be ready to see a braided-up, shirtless (we hope) man giving it his all, pumping you full of sonic Viagra one minute and preaching to you the next.Here's hoping that the following happens: Kelly's trademark orchestration is present in one form or another for this show -- be it a full backing band or a stripper clumsily bowing a cello, we don't care. Let's also keep our fingers crossed that the R. takes a cue from fellow chiseled specimen D'Angelo and gives a lengthy, thorough performance.
Here's hoping that the following doesn't happen: A too-generous R.K. gives his rapping buddies too much time to shine (which is to say any time at all), resulting in an onstage shoutfest. Or Seor Kelly spends a little too much time at the aforementioned fiesta (Spanish for "party" -- get it?) and forgets to play somber classics such as "Keep it on the Down Low" (parts 1 and 2, pretty please).
Whatever the case, this show is sure to be as gaudy-funny as it is sweaty-tingly. So rock your most major ice, hop in your Benz and enjoy an evening of modern romance, player-style.