You can guess the plot of Disney's Planes
-- it's just Cars 2
with wings, an international romp that pits a humble country bumpkin against a fleet of literally jet-setting competitors in a race around the world, with pit stops in four continents and more cultural stereotypes than the Eurovision song contest. Will crop-duster Dusty Crophopper (Dane Cook) make like Rocky and smoke his competition with a little help from his friends, which include a moronic fuel truck (Brad Garrett) and a stern World War II fighter plane (Stacy Keach)? Take a guess. But even though Planes
wouldn't know the word "suspense" if a skywriter puffed it into the air, the questions it raises are bizarrely fascinating, at least to adults. Who is Dusty dusting crops for? Thirty minutes in, as he finally wheels down the runway to begin his uplifting adventure, it's natural if your wandering mind might also ask when a plane becomes sentient. If we're assuming a human-like timeline, and also believe that life begins at ignition, then Dusty’s most wizened ancestor can only hearken back to 110 years of history. Yet, how thrilling to muse that maybe instead it's the raw material-- not the motors-- that are alive, and the iron ore destined to be forged into these Planes and Cars has been self-aware since it was burped from a volcano. How awe-inspiring be this machinery! And how ironically human its dull day-to-day existence! As Dusty's underdog quest to finish first fuels an international media frenzy, other planes are content merely to watch along on television. Are the TV sets also alive? Will we get a movie about them?