Gather 'round, children. Grandma has a story to tell you about an annual St. Louis tradition the Very Bert Dax Christmas album. This year's model (the fourth volume! Why, I remember trudging uphill both ways in the snow to buy the first edition in 2002!) has a little something for everyone. Corbeta Corbata rips through a Suicidal Tendencies-grade hardcore thrasher and femme-punks That's My Daughter gender-bend the Miser songs from The Year Without a Santa Claus with a wink, a sneer and a nod to the Waitresses' monotone vox. But the Helium Tapes heat up these chilly December nights with the slinky, garage-pop instrumental "Saturnella" and Tight Pants Syndrome's tune makes me remember the days of candy-coated 1980s power-pop ah, you kids missed out on the days of Let's Active and the Members! Now scoot, and go buy the album the old-fashioned, non-iTunes way: at Vintage Vinyl or the Very Bert Dax Christmas shows.