Cool, Earl! We were shooting for dotterel! My comments about last week's horrible front page: Brainless, dazed, deficient, dense, dim, dodo, doltish, dopy, dotterel, dull, dumb, dummy, foolish, futile, gullible, half-baked, half-witted, idiotic, ill-advised, imbecilic, inane, indiscreet, insensate, irrelevant, irresponsible, laughable, loser, ludicrous, meaningless, mindless, moronic, naive, nonsensical, obtuse, pointless, puerile, rash, senseless, short-sighted, simple, simple-minded, slow, sluggish, stolid, stupefied, thick, thickheaded, trivial, unintelligent, unthinking, witless, waste of time, pathetic, ugly, stupid, sickening, not worth using as toilet paper, trash, skin crawl, cringe.
Life in the Fast Lane
Reference check: Regarding "Highway Robbery," Malcolm Gay's July 21 article about auto transportation: I just wanted you to know that not all auto-transportation companies are as unethical as the ones Gay describes. I have shipped cars from Pennsylvania and Florida without a hitch. They showed up in excellent condition with no problems, and they were on time. Also, one of the major auto transporters is headquartered in St. Louis: Passport, a subsidiary of Mayflower.
Bottom line for consumers: Check out a transporter with users. Ask around. Call Gateway Classic Cars in Fairmont City, Fast Lane Classic Cars in St. Charles, or Hyman Ltd. in St. Louis, all of which ship cars on a regular basis.
A Thorny Question
And now a word from the "I didn't get it" department, New Jersey division: How could Jordan Harper beg Axl to come back and perform for you [Radar Station, June 30]? He is dried up. Why do you think that it's taken seven years for Chinese Democracy to not be released?
I saw a Velvet Revolver show in Atlantic City last month. Slash truly appreciates his fans and his new success. If you should be writing about anyone, it's him and his inability to fail like his previous partner. At least then you won't sound like a schoolgirl that got dumped by her boyfriend!
Linwood, New Jersey
Chef to Chef
The suggestion box: Consider this an open letter to Darren Garmer, executive chef and managing partner of Jimmi Yin's Asian Grill & Wok Bar [Letters, June 16]:
I have a few facts you are not aware of, and some advice from a fellow professional chef.
1) Rose Martelli has no formal training in food? Big deal! That doesn't make her incapable of having a valid opinion. Ruth Reichl, the longtime New York Times food writer and now editor of Gourmet, had never gotten more than the basic skills when she started out. Trust me: You do not want other chefs reviewing you publicly. I can see every mistake you make and each corner you try to cut.
2) Opinions are like assholes.... Ever hear that one? If you fall apart every time you get negative feedback, you're never gonna make it. Get a thicker skin.
3) I've tried your place three times and I think it sucks too! It's like a public school cafeteria's version of Asian food. The black rice is awful, and your sauces give Mr. Yoshida a bad name.
4) "European" lighting is a damn waste of money. Spend it on Asian cookbooks.
The mad-cow terrorist threat: Interesting timing on Malcolm Gay's mad cow article ["Eat Me," June 9]. A woman in Florida recently died of mad cow. Of course, they believe she got it when she went to England, but I don't think they know for sure. They also may have found another cow with the disease. But that's based on preliminary tests. And the USDA and the cattle industry and the corporate media assure us that the disease did not get in the food chain. Of course, the USDA doesn't like beef companies to test all their cattle.
Did Osama help to spread mad cow to the U.S.? When the Holstein was diagnosed with mad cow, the first thing the USDA said was that it wasn't terrorism. How did they know so quickly? Osama said the next attack would be biological and was about 90 percent ready. Also, the place in Ames, Iowa, where they do the testing for mad cow had almost no security precautions. That's the kind of thing Osama likes and takes advantage of.
Imagine this: members of al Qaeda -- and not all Muslims are Arabs -- going out in the middle of the night shooting mad cow disease into cattle with a hypodermic needle. They even have some white Muslims or Chinese Muslims that could do an operation like that. Or maybe a martyr working for a plant that makes cattle feed. Either way, it's obvious that the USDA's main interest is protecting the short-term profits of the cattle industry and not the welfare of American taxpayers.
Sort of like airlines and the FAA, which didn't care much about spending money on security.
The Riverfront Times is looking for freelance writers to contribute to our music section. Knowledge of dance music and hip-hop is a plus. Please send writing samples to:
Jordan Harper, music editor
c/o Riverfront Times
6358 Delmar Boulevard, Suite 200
St. Louis, MO 63130