"The ideal form? Two arms, two legs, about 3-foot-6 and with a flat head for resting my bottle of Bud on."
Waitress, Sunflour Cafe
"Yeah, I like rock-star types who look like Lenny Kravitz or Mick Jagger. A foreign accent helps ... oh, and I like tattoos. And they have to have all their teeth, but no gold teeth."
Mike "Frogcatcher" Giasomo
"It's hard enough to find someone who can accept me for what I am, 'cause I'm a nutcase. You can always have a lustful night, but a woman's personality and her being, the way she carries herself, that's what's important. I'll find beautiful women and I'll start talking to them, see how their energy is, how they act with other people. I can tell if they're crazy pretty quickly."
Pizza Man, Racanelli's Pizza
"I like curly hair. Curly hair and pretty eyes -- man, I'm sold."
Host, Morning Wake-Up Call, WGNU-AM
"Yeah, I look at a man's mouth. I look at his mouth because you can tell a lot about a man if he's got a full mouth or a narrow mouth. It tells you what the relationship's going to be like. Some say the eyes are the window to the soul. For me, it's the mouth. There has to be a certain fullness to it. The mouth tells you how sensuous a person is going to be."
"Skinny, big boobs, nice ass, bedroom eyes. You know, I married that ... and now I'm getting divorced from that.