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Dispensary Review: Tommy Chims Smokes High Profile's Weed

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High Profile has turned a former bank into a dispensary. - COURTESY HIGH PROFILE
  • COURTESY HIGH PROFILE
  • High Profile has turned a former bank into a dispensary.

Next up, I dove into the Gorilla Glue pre-roll. Gorilla Glue is a notoriously potent hybrid strain grown by crossing Chem's Sister, Sour Dubb and Chocolate Diesel, and a winner of multiple Cannabis Cups and even the High Times Jamaican World Cup. The half-gram joint had a rich, delicious coffee-and-weed smell when I took it out of its packaging, and it burned clean throughout, delivering a grassy and fuel-like taste that gave way to a sort of saki and black licorice feeling in the back of the throat. Clovr-branded and rated at 19.41 percent THC, I put it out about halfway through, because I was absolutely toasted. I'm talking space-cadet high, with the bags under my eyes weighing a thousand pounds, my chronic pain nicely soothed (this was another rainy day, too, so that's another huge win) and a blissful forgetfulness that saw me repeatedly wander into rooms in my home and then immediately forget what I went in there for. As it turns out I didn't need two of these after all — just half of one worked out phenomenally well on two occasions — but I certainly am glad to have another one in my supply.

I got into the Layer Cake next. Glasshaus-branded and rated at 17.85 percent THC, the jar boasts fluffy, dark green popcorn buds with orange hairs and a dusting of trichomes, and, to use a perhaps confusing but nonetheless accurate descriptor I have employed once before to characterize the smell of a previous strain, it's got a real "old people house" smell to it. (I'm not totally sure what that means either, but that's where my head immediately went, and I'm not sure why. Maybe grandma smoked a lot of weed when I was growing up?) On breakup, the little flower pieces fell easily off the stem and crumbled effortlessly in my fingers without leaving behind any stickiness — no grinder required. On inhale, this strain tastes sweet and grassy, with a fuel-like sensation in the throat and sinuses, and I didn't find it particularly cough-inducing. I wrote in my notes that it tastes like "sweet furniture, like a nice couch from Goodwill smells when you get it home, but sweetened." It is possible that this description, even more absurd than the "old people house" one above, came about as a result of my altered state of mind after smoking — I was grinning ear-to-ear and giggly, feeling relaxed and engaged and suitably euphoric, but not couch-locked. What this strain lacks in bag appeal it more than makes up for in effects; I'll definitely be buying more next time I can.

As the Missouri medical marijuana industry matures over the coming years, we're sure to see plenty of these larger, nationally franchised operations trek to town in the hopes of scoring big in the world of cannabis sales. And as High Profile gets its footing and gets its grow operation off the ground, its prices will plummet accordingly, making it a strong competitor in the dispensary world.

In other words: The locally based operations may not love it, but the Green Rush has come to Missouri — dysentery be damned.

Higher Thoughts

From the altered mind of Thomas Chimchards

Welcome to Higher Thoughts, wherein ol’ Tommy Chims smokes one strain from this review — in this case, Layer Cake — and then immediately writes whatever comes to mind in the hopes of giving you, dear reader, a clearer picture of its overall mental effects: no rules, no predetermined word counts and, most crucially, no editing. Here we go:

If kid rock owned and operated a daycare for cradle-dwelling children it would be called a “kid rockery.”

Was that helpful? Who knows! See you next week.

Thomas K. Chimchards is RFT’s resident cannabis correspondent and envier of Robert James Ritchie’s ability to live nearly his entire life in a shirtless state. Email him tips at tommy.chim@riverfronttimes.com and follow him on Twitter at @TOMMYCHIMS

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