No tequila-peddlin' Red Rockers sporting douchebag goatees for us, thank you very much. David Lee Roth a.k.a. "Diamond Dave," a.k.a. Howard Stern's replacement, a.k.a. The Only Van Halen Singer Who Matters is coming to town. But now that Dave's pushing 50 and has a day job (not to mention that EMT moonlighting gig in NYC), does that mean he's not a rockstar anymore? Please the guy is still a spaz and will be as amped to perform old Van Halen hits as you will be to hear them. Not only will we be praying for lines like "I brought my pencil/Give me something to write on, dude!" but we have our fingers crossed for one of those wicked karate kicks, too.