We're not really sure what it is Zipatoni does, and the company's as-of-this-moment award-winning radio commercials don't really clear the matter up. The on-air promos hint at some sort of "Zipatoni Global Industrial Complex" and mention that you can make arrangements to tour the facilities -- if you dare. Who knows what the hell goes on there? There's something ominous about a company that has Fred Friction read vague, almost draconian proclamations about Zipatoni's underwriting of KDHX-FM programming, each one finishing with a reminder (or threat). Zipatoni is right here in St. Louis. Zipatoni, your ideas intrigue us. Please send us your pamphlet/newsletter. And if it's not too much trouble, would you call off those black helicopters that keep buzzing the building?