Just because your life is falling apart doesn't mean your cocktail has to be a mess too. Why cry in your already-watery beer when you can take the express lane to oblivion with a couple of excellently mixed and very reasonably priced martinis? At Absolutli Goosed the glasses are chilled, the pours are generous and the bartenders are a friendly, brassy bunch who've probably heard their fair share of sob stories. While this isn't a dank hole in the wall, it is comfortingly dim and cozy, and yet as martini bars go, there's not a shred of pretension. That's good, because you don't want a bunch of people judging you for ordering that third martini, and as the bar's name clearly implies, no one here will.