Best Pandemic Sport

Bird-Kicking

Staff Pick

That’s right, bird-kicking. No, not our feathered friends, you weirdo; we’re talking about those e-scooters that are still littering sidewalks all around town. Remember those largely useless pieces of shit? Anyway, the rules of the game are simple: Find a flock, kick ’em over, watch ’em fall. Bonus points are awarded when one kick knocks several over like dominos. Shoot video of your efforts and compare scores with your friends. Lime and Spin scooters count too, of course — any piece of two-wheeled electric trash owned by a dumb faceless tech organization you find lying around will do. It’s a fun solo sport that encourages social distancing, and also encourages Silicon Valley not to leave their fucking garbage everywhere. Win-win! — Daniel Hill

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