While many restaurants aspire to be something they aren't, Schottzie's rejoices in what it is: south county's most come-as-you-are watering hole. The waitstaff isn't sucking up for a tip; they just truly don't mind if patrons put one measly drink on their debit card. They don't give clever names to brain sandwiches, and simply call the appetizer section of the menu "Bar Food." The beauty here is in the seemingly haphazard combinations that work. Pizza burgers and breaded cheeseburger sticks suddenly seem as obvious as PB&J, as do the jackalopes and the moose head wearing a Cards hat on the wall. Why didn't anyone think of this before? There's an innate sense of familiarity here, just off Lindbergh Boulevard west of Tesson Ferry Road. At Schottzie's, it is entirely possible to run into a long-lost neighbor, your car dealer and old shop teacher all on the same night. "What high school did you go to?" seems too broad to ask here. "What street did you grow up on?" is more like it, as six degrees of separation at Schottzie's invariably shrink to one or two.