MIDGET sits on a TOILET, reading a newspaper. He spies an ad.
ANNOUNCER: People are blowing their top...
MIDGET'S head explodes.
ANNOUNCER: ...over the hot deals at AFFORDABLE AUTO CREDIT.
MIDGET, face sooty, climbs out of the hole his head-explosion caused. (MIDGET'S head is intact.)
EXT: AFFORDABLE AUTO CREDIT PARKING LOT
At left, a WOMAN admires silver convertible. At right, CREDIT FAIRY, wearing wings and crown, carrying wand, appears out of thin air.
WOMAN: Credit Fairy, I need a car, but I have bad credit.
CREDIT FAIRY: Girlfriend, you need to come to Affordable Auto Credit. We have cars as low as $1,000, and we guarantee financing. Remember, your job is your credit.
CREDIT FAIRY looks at camera, smiles.
CREDIT FAIRY: We have no interest, and no credit checks.
EXT: AFFORDABLE AUTO CREDIT PARKING LOT, DIFFERENT ANGLE.
CAR DUDE stands to left, MIDGET to right. MIDGET waves to WOMAN driving off in new silver convertible.
CAR DUDE: At Affordable Auto Credit, no one walks.
CAR DUDE hits MIDGET on head. COMICAL SOUND EFFECT rings out. CAR DUDE and MIDGET turn to camera, smile.
CAR DUDE: Nobody!
CLOSING SCREEN reads:
[VOICEOVER:] Affordable Auto Credit, 4568 Gravois, three blocks north of Bevo Mill; 314-353-6000.