Best Jukebox

The Crow's Nest

"Sorry, we're out of Stag," says Crow's Nest bartender Kenny Snarzyk, immediately upon our arrival. The words cut like knives; truly they are five of the most heinous in the English language. Reeling and in shock, we seek solace at the jukebox. This particular 'box has pedigree: It was the same that won the now bygone Bleeding Deacon its "Best Jukebox" RFT award in 2009. Morrissey will do fine for now; it matches the mood. The Smiths, the Cure, Joy Division — their sadness is shared in the absence of satisfactory suds. Upon our return to the bar, Snarzyk is waiting with a bottle of Miller High Life — a substandard entry by comparison — but his presentation is unique in that it comes with a Champagne flute. Laughter fills the bar as Snarzyk carefully fills the glass, and the mood is lifted. What's with this depressing music? Back to the 'box: Whoa, they have Turbonegro's Apocalypse Dudes here. And the Lemonheads and Sloppy Seconds. Shit, and Gang of Four, Toots and the Maytals...maybe we will get through this. Hell, maybe High Life ain't so bad after all.

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