When toupees fall asleep, they dream of KSDK-TV (Channel 5) weathercaster Mike Roberts the way Pinocchio dreams of becoming a real boy. Roberts' voluminous mass is a textbook template for styles synthesized by plugs and rugs worldwide. Do not let the perfection fool you: These follicles are real, and they are fantastic. Roberts' jet-black loaf of hair emits confidence and sophistication, each ample layer crashing beautifully upon his forehead like the perfect storms he aims to predict. Mike Roberts makes a living analyzing that which occurs above our heads; what better way to instill trustworthiness in the general public than to assert such awesome control over his own northernmost point?