Best Dollar Store


Hello. I am a bottle of Everfresh brand apple juice. I am 32 ounces, and I sell for 100 pennies at Deal$. Now, you must be aware that selling for only a dollar can lead to a fairly serious identity crisis. Do I not taste as good as the name-brand apple juice that sells for more at the local grocery store? Of course I do! In fact, I live in a world completely devoid of name brands. All of my best friends are off-brands; my buddy "A Tasket," a baked whole-grain wheat cracker that resembles, well, a Triscuit, lives just one aisle over. I am not ashamed to share a shelf at Deal$ with these misfit products. In fact, a coffee shop down the street sells skinnier bottles of Everfresh apple juice for nearly $2! One might argue that their price makes them better, but I disagree. I'm fat, cheap and happy: It's the American way.

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