Best Cougar Den

Mihalis Chophouse

BREAKING NEWS: MAN ATTACKED BY COUGARS! A young man was mauled by a pack of cougars at Mihalis Chophouse Friday evening. The women, believed to be seven in number and all in their late forties, pounced on the man, 24, only moments after he had ordered a Jack & Coke. He wore a golf shirt, untucked, jeans and flip-flops. Two cougars shredded his shirt while the others went straight for his bottom. A friend, also 24, and slightly less of a looker, intervened. After extricating his pal from the cougars' fangs, the interloper and his friend spotted a good-looking cougar foursome across the room. "Hey, Baby, come to Mommy," one of the women purred. Moments later the men left Mihalis, each with two new cougs on the arm. It's believed that no severe harm resulted from the encounter. Authorities say such incidents are commonplace at Mihalis, particularly on Friday and Saturday evenings after 9:30 p.m. All men under the age of 30 should beware of cougars on the prowl during those hours and take appropriate precautions.

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