To those gastronomes who dine upon caviar and foie gras and toast points and larks' tongues in aspic, kindly please continue your journey up your own alimentary tract. It's 11 a.m. Thursday, and some of us need a sardine sandwich, preferably on pumpernickel. But the pantry is bare, so off to Global Foods we go for an iridescent blue tin of Adro smoked sardines, product of Latvia. Oh, but what's this fancy can right next to it? Riga sprats. That's like a sardine's cousin, yeah? Right, hold these; I want a better look at these Larsen Bücklings fillets, which have come all the way from Denmark. Those Danes know their fish. That's sorted, we're getting that one as well. And Scotland's finest, John West skippers, need consideration also. Great Neptune! Alstertor displays a Teutonic thoroughness in its product line, as only the Germans can: fillets in wine, paprika, horseradish, mustard, dill herb and mushroom. Run, get a basket and another loaf of bread. We shall eat the fish of a dozen nations, and afterward ponder how California Girl mackerel comes from China, and why it is that the banner on Tin Appa mackerel states it is "The Pride of Africa" but the product of Thailand. Hmmm, only a second lunch may solve these enigmas; we shall need mustard in that case.