If you think a breast pump is a new way to accentuate your cleavage, you may need a crash course in the language of babies. It's harder to master than Spanish, but more fun, mostly because you can learn at Target. Sure Target is a big-box chain, and therefore evil. But we don't care. They give a lot of money to local schools and environmental causes. And their baby stuff is cheap and stylish. They carry cute OshKosh duds at half the price of department stores, and trendy Eddie Bauer gear -- think strollers, car seats and diaper bags. They also sell every conceivable baby product, from sound and motion monitors for baby's room to cloth diapers for, well, you know. Plus they let expectant parents use a UPC gun to zap all the baby booty they want to add to their registry. And Target's Web site makes it easy for gift givers to browse the registry and, if they're of a mind to, order online. If only the next eighteen years could be this easy!