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Hobby Lobby

This is a great place to spot green-haired Juggalos, those notorious followers of Insane Clown Posse, stocking up on floral tape (for hair horns) and staple guns (for impromptu piercings) before their annual jamboree. However, if you want to get chopping on that portrait of your cocker spaniel but need a tube of burnt umber gouache before you can start, Hobby Lobby should be your first choice. Just go, knowing that four steps in you'll wonder whether maybe he'd look cuter on a needlepoint pillow instead. Or maybe you could knit him a sweater. Or just put all those pictures of him begging for carnitas into a scrapbook. Or...you get the idea. ADHD is highly encouraged here, where you'll find the means to manifest any artsy-craftsy pursuit that's been invented, ever.

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