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Bead Me Up, Scotty


You heard all about this recession thing, right? The market's nose-diving and your 401(k) took it in the seat of the pants. But I'm not worried — because there has never been a better time to invest in beads. That's right: beads. I don't know why, but right now everybody's screaming for beads. And here's a tidbit for you: People on floats are going to be flinging beads to the masses tonight from Lumière Place Casino (999 North Second Street; all the way down Broadway to Kiener Plaza, starting at about 8 p.m. It's a religious thing, I dunno. They're calling it the Light Up the Night Parade, but I call it cha-ching. I figure by the end of the week, I'll be the bead kingpin of south city. Cash out next month, and it's easy street from here to eternity. No wonder they call it Fat Tuesday.
Tue., Feb. 5, 2008