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Bad Beer Baron, Bachelor Edition: The Board Game Women Have Been Dying to Play!


You have been invited to hang out with one of the world's most eligible bachelors, the Bad Beer Baron, in his family's palatial estate. Should you play your cards right, you could end up with a ring. But don't get cocky: Many, many beautiful women have tried to play this game — and ended up dead.

Beginning in the Foyer, each bachelorette vies to gather a six-pack of ice-cold beer and make her way to the center ring to claim the prize. The winner is the first lady to land, by precise count, on the center ring with at least six beers in her possession.

The player deemed most attractive (without the aid of beer goggles) gets to roll first, followed by the player to her right and so on. Players advance counterclockwise around the board, gaining one beer each time they pass the Foyer. Additional beer may be gained, or lost, by drawing a Manservant Card and by following the instructions therein.

Each room in the mansion is a shortcut and can be accessed by landing on the orange square permitting entry to that room. However, each room carries the potential for a player's untimely demise. Upon entering the room, players must roll the die and follow instructions for that room. If/when a player is killed — and history argues strongly for "when" — she loses whatever beer she's accumulated and must return to the Foyer to start over.

Only one player is permitted at a time on any square on the pathway. (The Baron is frisky but not into the holy Trinity, if you know what we mean.) If you land on a space occupied by another player, roll the die a second time and send your rival that number of spaces in the direction of your choosing. Rooms can have more than one occupant.

This game is a work of pure fiction. Any resemblance to real people, events, actual beer barons or real dead girls is only a matter of coincidence.

No actual women were harmed in the making of this game. Several beers were obliterated, however.

Download your very own, completely playable copy of the Bad Beer Baron Bachelor Edition board game by here. (Right-click or option-click to save the pdf to your computer.)

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