That's not to say they've perfected the art of the power ballad just yet, although they come damn close to it on "I'm Ugly and I Don't Know Why," a nasty but otherwise melancholy ode to grade-school alienation (held over from when three-fourths of the band was known as the wretched Butt Trumpet) that just begs to be crooned by Axl Rose. The nearly power-pop "No Integrity" nicely channels the Ramones and Vice Squad, "Love/ Hate" is a monster chunk of melodic pop-metal that Courtney Love would (and just might) kill for, and "Big Hair, Broken Heart" is a ridiculously overproduced (but insanely catchy) love letter to Lita Ford and '80s cock-rockers that rhymes "groupie whore" with "the Troubadour."
Elsewhere, the band -- led by Butthole's hellfire holler and a sleazoid sense of humor that would make Redd Foxx grin -- let loose like a horde of sex-crazed rock & roll banshees out to conquer the world. Among the album's finer fist-pumping moments are such self-explanatory anthems as "I Wanna Be Your Sucker," "I'd Wish You'd Die" and "Part-Time Hooker" and the future TRL favorite "Shut Up and Fuck" ("Some people might call me a slut/What can I say, I wanna bust a nut" -- now that's a slogan waiting to be slapped onto a spring-break T-shirt).
"Hell on Wheels" opens the album in a burst of barnstorming style while boasting "sirens blarin' down the highway/We don't give a fuck, we're doin' it our way," and after Miss Butthole rants, "I don't want little boys, I wanna man with man-size toys" on "Size Queen," surprise studio drop-in guest Vanilla Ice (yes, Vanilla Ice!) justifies his entire laughable career by launching into the following prose: "I'm Vanilla Ice and I'll be your dream/So won't you open up your legs, let me make you cream/Just like a waterfall, you know I got it all/My long white dick is 10 inches tall."
And you thought it was just his ego that was big.