Feature, July 17, 2008
Beware the Enraged Cougar
Don't call me Cougar! Wow! I was quite dismayed by your Cougar article. That women are willingly labeling themselves is just so very sad. My husband is sixteen and a half years younger than me and I would never call myself a "cougar."
I was a 38-year-old person who fell in love with a 22-year-old man. I didn't care for most men my age because they didn't like what I liked. They liked classic rock. I didn't. They liked sports and going camping and long walks in the country. PUKE! I liked action flicks, alternative rock, tattoos and porn. I was/am not a sleazy, desperate, ugly, old chick. I was then, and still am, an individual who fell for someone who was tall and thin and funny. Uber-intelligent, with a sharp and witty sense of humor, who liked the same music and movies as myself. Who loved books and hated stupid people.
He saw the same things in me as I in him. Except for the "tall" factor. Thirteen months after our first date we had our first child. Ten months later we got married (with everyone's blessing). Two and a half years later we had our second child. I was 42 and he was 25. Don't assume that an older woman cannot get pregnant.
Oh, and we're still together after fourteen years. It hasn't always been easy; marriage rarely is. But age has never been a factor.
As far as Debra Reed saying that she doesn't use protection: She's a damned fool. You can't see HIV with the naked eye, you dumb--s!
Anyway, sometimes people get together because it just fits. My mother is 22 years older than her husband. My sister hasn't dated a man older than her since the '70s. My father's wife was nineteen years his junior. My best friend's grandparents were nineteen years apart (her grandmother was older). To label such people and relationships devalues them. Besides, women tend to outlive men. My husband and I may just go at the same time!
Why not just let people be with whomever they want, without having to put a name on it? If you're only out looking to get laid and that's it, then you're just a sleaze, regardless of your age or sex.
Anonymous, via the Internet
Unreal, July17, 2008
Unreal Men of Genius
Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius: (Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mister Big Company Corporate Takeover Architect.
(Mister Big Company Corporate Takeover Architect)
You started a glorious career with only one thing in mind. To reach the top. And clawed your way up the corporate ladder, stepping on I don't know how many people to get there.
(Get out of my way)
It takes a lot of really hard work to turn a five-foot cubicle into a fifty-foot-long table. And while your coworkers were being thrown out onto the street, you didn't falter one bit. Not you.
(I made it)
It must be comforting to know that while the employees merely make and sell the beer, you can buy and sell the company.
(The whole enchilada)
Anyone can learn how to read spreadsheets and count profits. But it takes real talent to light up a big cigar and make those really tough decisions.
So polish up that golden parachute and crack open a cold one, O surrogate of the shareholder.
Because when it comes to No. 2; well, that's really for everyone else.
(Here comes the King, here comes the Big Number One....)
Bud Light Beer, Anheuser-Bev, Brussels, Belgium.
DJ, via the Internet
Gut Check/STLog, July14, 2008
Bud vs. Stella Artois
Snarky is as snarky does: Snarky. Everyone's gotta try to be irreverent, but this is a poorly written attempt at it, and it fails to get to the heart of the A-B/InBev merger's new uncertainty about its identity.
Without a doubt Budweiser has not been A-B's flagship for years. It gets a fraction of the advertising and an even smaller fraction of the consumption of the real flagship lager — Bud Light. In terms of InBev's existing roster, there is no match. It's hard to believe Belgians (or Brazilians for that matter) would even consider Bud Light beer, however.
As for the increased distribution of Bud Light, forget it. I have nothing against it — it's simply that flavorless, ultra-carbonated, mildly alcoholic beverages you must serve at zero Celsius are inaccessible for most of the world. And while Budweiser might see a wider release, its status as a symbol of America (erosion be damned) and inadequacy of taste plus higher import cost will inevitably attract few converts. That being said, A-B/InBev will probably cut some of its redundant product lines and the company will be, as now, without a true worldwide flagship beer.
St. Louis should be worried. Sure, nothing will happen besides a few corporate layoffs over the next two years, but in the end our fears of real efficiency cuts could easily cut off that precious smell of wort and hops wafting through south city. In light of all this, SaveAB should really be trying to declare the brewery a national historic site, lest it become the newest swanky lofts.
Anonymous, via the Internet