13 Political Figures We'll Miss in 2013
We present these thirteen political figures the nation will miss in 2013.
Gage Skidmore
Donald Trump
Saying we'll "miss" Donald Trump is wishful thinking. We know he's going to find some way to stick around and fester in 2013, but that's really up to all of us--if we pay no attention to him, he should just go away, right? Crap, we're talking about him. Sorry you have to look at his puckered-up catcher's mitt of a face.
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Karl Rove
Somewhere, Karl Rove is still furiously scribbling scenarios on his little whiteboard explaining how Romney can win Ohio.
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Dick Morris
Dick Morris, the "pollster" who kept insisting Romney would win in a landslide, recently admitted he was saying that to make Republicans feel better. He's like Nate Silver, if Nate Silver never took a statistics class and was a liar.
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Todd Akin
On the "Old Republican Men Who Say Stupid Things About Rape" all-star team, Akin was the captain, leading scorer, and face of the franchise. That's not a good thing, obviously, and his cold, dead political career is proof of that. Sometimes voters have a way to "shut that whole thing down."
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Richard Mourdock
The Pippen to Akin's Jordan on the "Old Republican Men Who Say Stupid Things About Rape" all-star team.
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Rick Santorum
From the dogmatism to the sweater vests, Rick Santorum was like Ned Flanders come-to-life. After over-performing in the primaries, Santorum faded away to relative obscurity. If you want a reminder about who he is, just google "Santorum."
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Gage Skidmore
Hermain Cain
Did he really think chanting "9-9-9" would solve all of America's problems? Why did he keep quoting the Pokemon movie? Why was Mark Block smoking in his infamous ad? Herman Cain's campaign raised a lot of questions before it was derailed by allegations of sexual promiscuity, but he was undoubtedly one of the more entertaining and original figures of 2012. Please come back in 2016, Herman, we miss you.
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Scott Brown
Scott Brown found out that holding onto Ted Kennedy's Senate seat as a republican was going to take a little more than a owning pickup truck and flashing a smile. It was going to take, you know, being a democrat.
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Joe Lieberman
The Connecticut Independent deserves praise for illiciting true bipartisanship from both Republicans and Democrats who hate him.
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Allen West
"Abraham Lincoln only served one term in Congress," West said this year after losing his congressional seat, marking the last time anyone will ever compare the Tea Party favorite to President Lincoln.
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Monica A. King; DoD photographer
David Petraeus
Adored by Republicans, Democrats, and the media--David Patraeus was seemingly beloved by everyone. That turned out to be the problem.
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Gage Skidmore
Rick Perry
You know in the movie Multiplicity when Michael Keaton keeps cloning himself over and over again and each time he does, the clone gets a little more stupid? Rick Perry is like George W. Bush on his 8th clone.
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Jamie Peachey
Mitt Romney
Was Mitt Romney too out-of-touch to be president? We'd ask him, but we don't know which one of his estates we can reach him at.
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