VIA ROCK COMMUNITY FIRE DISTRICT
A photo taken by the Rock Community Fire District shows the aftermath of a nude man's wreck into some trees. (Sorry, no photos of the naked guy.)
An overachieving Missouri criminal is walking free today after allegedly stealing a truck while fully nude and driving it the wrong way down the highway before ultimately flipping it in a fireball from which his still-naked body was thrown clear.
The reason he's free? Police are still scratching their heads trying to figure out exactly how many crimes to charge him with.
According to a social media post
from the Rock Community Fire District, the incident happened on the morning of July 24. KMOV reports
the 30-year-old suspect was visiting a resident at the South Woods Mobile Home Park in Imperial when a neighbor spotted him just strolling down the street in his birthday suit.
"She sees a gentleman walking up the street," Gerald McCauley, a friend of the pickup truck owner, tells the station
. "She sees his head and then she sees he's not wearing a shirt, and then she sees he's not wearing anything. And he said ‘good morning’ to her and just kept walking."
So far, so polite. Sure, the broad-daylight nudity might be of concern, but hey, we've all been there
But then the bare-assed bandit came across a running pickup, according to officials from the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office, who say the owner of the vehicle had forgotten his cell phone and left the vehicle running in his driveway while he went inside to retrieve it.
Investigators say the nude man helped himself to the 1988 Chevy Silverado, driving it head-on into oncoming traffic on Highway 61/67 and clipping two other vehicles in the process.
One of the vehicles he struck swerved off the road and into a nearby resident's yard, KMOV reports
. Ron Thompson says he was in his bathroom when he heard a loud boom. "I looked out the window and that's when I saw the car busting through the woods," Thompson tells the station
The stolen truck reportedly went careening off the road as well, flipping through the air and landing upside-down in some trees and bushes. Thompson ran to the scene to help, where he found that the truck was ablaze, but the nude man had been thrown clear.
“I looked down and it was actually on fire and the guy was laying there with no clothes on," Thompson tells KMOV
The unclothed driver had only made it about a half-mile from where he'd allegedly stolen the truck.
The man was taken to a nearby hospital to treat his injuries and subsequently set free while officers figure out what to charge him with. Which, yeah, OK, this one does probably require some consideration. Take your time.
We've reached out to the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office to ask if they've yet completed counting through the naked suspect's crimes. We will update this post if/when we hear back.
- Sign up for our weekly newsletters to get the latest on the news, things to do and places to eat delivered right to your inbox.
- Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.