SCREENSHOT VIA KSDK
Brentwood police Corporal Dan Retzlaff, shown here in a video tour of his favorite public sex places.
A veteran Brentwood cop spent an entire night on duty last year sending a woman videos describing the public locations he'd eyeballed for potential bangin' — and it got him in serious trouble with his bosses.
The details were revealed in a story last night by KSDK investigative reporter Jacob Long
, who managed to obtain both the videos and the corresponding call logs for October 20, 2018.
That night, Brentwood Police Corporal Dan Retzlaff responded to eight calls, including a domestic disturbance and a DWI arrest. But over the course of his twelve-hour shift, he reportedly sent 90 videos to a woman he'd been flirting with through the video messaging app Marco Polo.
In them, he delivers lines about the throes of public passion so dispassionately, it's almost as if he's reading a police manual, or maybe even a cereal box.
"I'm going to go to a couple spots and show you the views and the ideas I've had for places where I would like to have sex," Retzlaff says in one video, using a tone falling somewhere between "cop reporting obstructed roadway" and "cop discussing the finer points of cargo pockets."
In a video shot from the top of the parking garage behind the Brentwood Promenade, Retzlaff not-at-all-seductively describes the garage's location and remarks that he "always thought this would be a cool place to fuck."
Still, some videos show a penchant for bodice-ripper material, like the one Retzlaff made from behind the wheel of his patrol car, saying, "Who doesn't like to hear their name, like, whispered in a heavy breath in their ear during sex?"
Who indeed? And yet, it turns out that nobody in the upper brass of the Brentwood Police Department enjoyed hearing an on-duty corporal saying things like, "This building reminds me of something I haven't done since high school, and that's sex on a balcony." Gross.
KSDK's Long tracked down the unnamed woman who received the messages. In an interview, she said that she didn't mind the sex talk — they were getting to know each other as possible intimate partners, after all. Still, she said that when she asked Retzlaff if he would get in trouble for being on his phone instead of policing, he responded, "Nope, I'm the one in charge."
Retzlaff, who earned a salary of nearly $100,000 in 2018, was working as a supervisor over three other officers that night. According to police call logs, the cops under Retzlaff's supervision responded to dozens of other calls while he was espousing the merits of sexily whispering in your partner's ear.
The city of Brentwood discovered the videos in January, which led to an internal investigation that charged Retzlaff two counts of neglect of duty and unbecoming conduct. The charges were sustained by Brentwood Police Chief Joseph Spiess.
But Long reports that when Retzlaff arrived for a meeting with city and police officials, he instead tendered his immediate resignation and did not discuss his on-duty thirstiness. That attempt at resignation has led to some ambiguity about Retzlaff's status: The cop wasn't technically "fired," but Brentwood apparently considers his last day of employment to be February 6.
At this point, Long reports, the city and Retzlaff are "working through his separation administratively."
Follow Danny Wicentowski on Twitter at @D_Towski. E-mail the author at Danny.Wicentowski@RiverfrontTimes.com
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