Totally Innocent, Not-Creepy 'Night Prowler' Van For Sale Near St. Louis

by

comment
SCREENGRAB VIA FACEBOOK

Facebook Marketplace isn’t just the place to go for ugly antiques, lumpy couches, haunted dolls and gently-barfed-on car seats. It’s also our first stop for out-there things like this awesome AC/DC-inspired van that is definitely not creepy at all.

If you’re in need of a van that certainly does not look like it's desperate to be involved in some criminal activity, look to this post on Facebook advertising a 1974 Ford van labeled “Night Prowler” on its side in Misfits font.



Just think about the possibilities: Everyone will be so impressed with your new ride that they’ll park far, far away from you, not wanting to crowd such a stunning specimen of vehicular beauty. All eyes will certainly be on you as your many fans wonder how you managed to acquire such a breathtaking automobile and what, exactly, you do with it.

This wholesome vehicle with authentic patina is said to have a mere 999,999 miles on the odometer, making it a steal at only $2,400.



In the description, the seller says this diamond-windowed looker can be yours with the right trade item, too:

“Trade for ???
Be the envy of the local law enforcement and the neighborhood
Night Prowler”

While it’s nice that he points out that you’ll get lots of attention from local law enforcement (who doesn’t want that?), he does not specify which trade items will be considered. Maybe the entire Boston catalog on 8-Trak? A fat stack of Penthouse magazines (up to 1986)? Two handfuls of Quaaludes? A brick of ditch weed?

Really, this hot item is worth whatever totally not-creepy thing you have to do or trade to get it. Though you’ll want to kick the tires first, of course. One must always be careful with online transactions. It’s probably best to check it out in person in St. Clair, Missouri. Maybe climb in the back, shut the door and just see how it vibes.

What’s the worst that could happen?

SCREENGRAB VIA FACEBOOK

Email the author at jaime.lees@riverfronttimes.com
  • Sign up for our weekly newsletters to get the latest on the news, things to do and places to eat delivered right to your inbox.
  • Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Riverfront Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of St. Louis and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep St. Louis' true free press free.