Buzzkill Parents Mad at Illinois High School Teacher's Cocaine Math Lesson


A teacher at Roxana Senior High School in Madison County, Illinois, is facing backlash this week after teaching some children in his freshman-level math class about the mathematical particulars of cocaine use.

The controversy stems from photos of the classroom's dry erase board that surfaced after Wednesday's lesson, which depict some rather unorthodox word problems for a high school math class.

"You take 600mg of cocaine, your body filters out 40% per hour, how high are you in three hours?" reads one question, as reported by KPLR. "Unfortunately, you can't pay your dealer, so she sets up a payment. You owe her $1,000 at 25% daily, how much do you owe one year later?" reads the other.

This is obviously important shit for kids to learn, lest they misjudge their metabolism and accidentally stay so high from that 600mg that they end up overpaying the interest on their $1,000 cocaine order payment plan. You think that dealer is gonna walk them through the math on this, or is she just gonna take the money and smile? This is what teachers are for, damn it.

Parents of students who attend the school, however, disagree.

"We don't need to be teaching children how long it takes to filter cocaine out of their bodies," parent Christy Scott tells KMOV. "That is ridiculous. That is not what we should be doing. We should be preventing this and not teaching them how to get rid of it."

The school itself was quick to condemn the lesson plan as well.

"The district views the use of yesterday's classroom examples as a demonstration of poor judgment," the district's leaders wrote in a statement. "The district is addressing the matter with the faculty member and those impacted by this incident. The faculty member has apologized to students and parents for this lapse in judgment and has reiterated the intent was never to promote or make light of illicit drug use. The district is taking the necessary measures to ensure that the damage is repaired."

A student from the school, Joseph Saban, tells KMOV that he wasn't in the class when it happened, but he'd heard about the incident from other students.

"I would not expect a teacher to be using drugs as an example for a problem," he says. "Either he was trying to relate in some way with the kids, be funny or something like that."

Or maybe he was trying to teach the youth about something real. Perhaps these parents would prefer their kids to learn about drug dealer interest payment plans on the streets. Call us old-fashioned if you must, but we at the RFT believe the classroom is meant for learning.

The teacher, who has not been identified publicly, has reportedly apologized to the students and parents affected by his lesson plan. The school says it is handling the issue as a personnel matter.

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