Suspected Fetus Found in Cahokia Middle School Toilet Was Actually a Tampon


On Wednesday night, a custodian at Wirth-Parks Middle School in Cahokia found an object in a toilet in a student restroom.

The object, described as about six inches long, must have been pretty bloody, because it was flagged as possibly being a fetus. Police were called, an investigation took place, Fox 2 reported breathlessly from the scene — and then, by this morning, the station reported that the object turned out to be nothing more than a feminine hygiene product.

You know: The sort of thing that's often found floating inside a bloody toilet bowl.

Police said it was hard to identify the the object at the scene because of how it was wrapped, according to Fox 2.

"At this time, it's a very small amount of mass, so it's very difficult just by sight determine what this is, and until we get a medical examination, that will determine the direction of our investigation at that point," St. Clair County Captain Bruce Fleshren said in the TV station's original report Wednesday night.

Whether the mysterious object turned out to be a tampon or pad was not specified in the Fox 2 report. But after investigation, it was clear that the feminine hygiene product was definitely not a fetus.

In that original, oh-so-hilarious-in-retrospect report, Superintendent Art Ryan also encouraged parents with daughters at the school to talk with their children.

"If you have a daughter that attends our middle school, I would talk with them, try to be honest with them, see what they have to say and just, you know, make sure that they're alright and they seem OK."

Now that the truth is out there, we're going to go out on a limb and say the kids are, in fact, alright. It's everyone else involved in this story who might need a good wellness check.