Dumb STL Thieves Can't Work a Stick Shift, Forget to Steal Money


Jon Miller, delivery driver, had to teach the men who carjacked him how to put the vehicle in gear. - SCREENSHOT FROM KMOV'S REPORT
  • Screenshot from KMOV's report
  • Jon Miller, delivery driver, had to teach the men who carjacked him how to put the vehicle in gear.
Some exceptionally stupid criminals robbed an Imo's Pizza delivery driver at gunpoint this week, stealing the food he was delivering, completely failing to operate his car's manual transmission and forgetting to demand any money.

As first reported by KMOV, south city delivery driver Jon Miller was approached Tuesday on Nebraska Avenue near Arsenal Street by the three very dumb thieves, who flashed a gun and demanded pizza and car keys, neglecting to consider that Miller had his night's earnings in his pocket.

"They came up to me and said they were going to blow my fucking head off if I didn't give them the food, so I gave them the food," Miller tells KMOV. "They didn't take the money. I was ready to give them the money but they didn't ask for it."

Instead, they took Miller's car. One problem, though: None of them knew how to drive a stick shift.

"They had me lay down on the porch and tried to start the car," Miller says. "I had to tell them how to start it. They made me tell them how to put it in gear."

The thieves then drove away, but they didn't get far.

"It ended up six blocks away, all blown up," Miller reports.

Police say they are currently investigating a string of recent delivery driver robberies in south St. Louis. On August 8, a man delivering Chinese food in Tower Grove South was shot in the leg after a brief scuffle when two thieves approached him with a gun. KSDK reported that it was the second such incident that week alone.

For Miller's part, he's not going to let three morons who don't know how to successfully drive or thieve stop him from doing his job. He says he will continue delivering pizzas as soon as his car is repaired.