Missouri Rep Thinks Paid Parental Leave for State Workers Is the Road to Marxism


State representative Mike Moon (R-Ash Grove) loves babies. But he doesn't think state workers should get so much as a day of maternity leave to care for them.

After newly elected Governor Eric Greitens' widely praised executive order last week giving primary caregivers in Missouri's executive branch six weeks of paid leave after having a child, Moon fired back that the plan was irresponsible.

"We should do all we can to provide for our families," he wrote in a statement posted to mikemoonformissouri.com. "Part of our responsibility includes planning. Since normal pregnancies last 40 weeks and adoption processes occur over a period of many months, we should use these periods leading up to birth or adoption to plan for the arrival of our children. Accrued sick time and vacation time should be used for these purposes without adding to the already heavy tax burden of Missouri residents."

Never mind that, for many pregnant women, you have to use sick time to cover for doctor's visits, not to mention morning sickness and other symptoms that come with carrying around another human for nine long months. Moon thinks if you were only responsible, you'd have hoarded your days off.

Added the Tea Party Republican, "This move appears to be in concert with the Karl Marx’s promotion of the conflict between the classes." Because when you think of class warfare, what else pops to mind other than parents getting a tiny bit of paid time off to bond with their newborns?

Moon drew titters on Twitter last year when he posted a series of cutesy memes about babies. "If a baby continued to grow at the same rate as in its first year, at 20 years it would be 30 feet tall," he tweeted. And "a newborn baby is nearsighted." The campaign was apparently a way to prove his pro-life bona fides — a position that apparently doesn't extend to helping parents cope once the baby is out of the womb.

Greitens' order will affect 45,000 state workers — people who are among the worst paid state workers in the nation. The executive order gives them the same leave plan enjoyed by federal employees, thanks to an executive order from Barack Obama, as well as what is typically offered by most private employers.

Moon notes that the costs of the paid leave program are unknown — Greitens himself has estimated them at $1 million. The state budget is $27.6 billion. So, this isn't the thing that's going to break the bank.

But remember, this is where conflict between the classes begins. If we proles have to cover another $1 million for those fat cat state workers, it's only a matter of time before we overthrow the capitalist system for once and for all. Viva la revolucion!

We welcome tips and feedback. Email the author at sarah.fenske@riverfronttimes.com

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