Image via Sharon Mollerus
Three men were indicted in federal court Thursday for stealing a trailer in southeast Missouri that was loaded with several hundred boxes of Charmin toilet paper reportedly worth about $70,000.
Prosecutors allege that the TP bandits took the cargo "with the intent to convert to their own use," which we prefer to interpret as legal boilerplate.
Jimmie L. Smith, Markel A. Eskridge and Eugene Pickens are now all facing a charge of "theft of an interstate shipment" for allegedly taking the Proctor & Gamble products from the southeast Missouri company, S J Potashnick Transportation, Inc., in Sikeston.The trailer was supposed to ship to Oklahama City.
The indictment doesn't give a lot of context. For that, we'll turn to Southeast Missourian
, which covered the initial arrest under the incredible headline, "Sikeston police flush out toilet-paper heist suspects
According to that account, the three men — all from Memphis, Tennessee — showed up at the transportation company in Sikeston with a stolen semi-tractor at 4am on Sunday. They hooked up the trailer to it, then pulled away. The Sikeston police were already there doing surveillance, having been tipped off about a possible theft, and arrested the men. Thus the TP heist unraveled.
Probably best to just dump a copy of the indictment right here.