It's finally Halloween. Do you know what that means? Joke time!
St. Louis tradition dictates that trick-or-treaters offer a joke or riddle before getting their candy. Only St. Louis and Des Moines, Iowa, make jokes a big part of the year's spookiest holiday, which is all the more reason to prepare with a few quality zingers. After all, trick-or-treaters without jokes are at risk of getting pencils for Halloween instead of candy. Pencils. The horror!
As is our annual Riverfront Times tradition, we've compiled a list of some of our favorites. They're a scream!
1. What's green and steals bases? Lou broccoli
2. Did you hear the one about the skunk....never mind, it stinks.
3. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
4. Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them.
5. What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese!
6. What do ghosts use to clean their hair? Sham-boo!
7. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi!
8. Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the boos.
9. Why did the vampire subscribe to the local newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
10. What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern? A plumpkin.
11. Why don't skeletons go trick-or-treating? Because they don't have any body to go with.
More jokes from Riverfront Times: