Eight Things St. Louis Is Sorry for According to Mayor Slay's Weird Defense of the Cardinals

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Don't worry Cardinals fans, Mayor Slay has your back! - STEVE TRUESDELL FOR RIVERFRONT TIMES
  • Steve Truesdell for Riverfront Times
  • Don't worry Cardinals fans, Mayor Slay has your back!

Must be October. Why? Because as Daily RFT observed earlier this week, everyone is ragging on the St. Louis Cardinals -- including the Wall Street Journal, which on Tuesday published a "hateability index" that ranked the Redbirds as the most despised team in this year's playoffs.

Enter now Mayor Francis Slay, who is not going to let the Journal -- or anyone else for that matter -- besmirch the Cardinals. In a response published yesterday on the Wall Street Journal's website, Slay donned both his Cardinals and his chamber of commerce caps in a bizarre apology/defense of his city and its team.

Here they are, and we're not making these up. Cross-reference them with Slay's WSJ article if you'd like.

1. Slay is sorry New York and San Francisco are more expensive (a.k.a., desirable) places to live in than St. Louis. [Sure the skyline below is breathtaking, but Slay will have you know that so, too, is the rent.]

2. He's sorry St. Louis produces some fine batteries in Energizer.

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3. Slay is sorry that our financial-service market is growing while other cities have lost jobs in that industry.

4. He's sorry Jon Hamm is so damn charming.

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5. He's sorry that other cities don't have as robust a Bosnian community.

JON GITCHOFF FOR RIVERFRONT TIMES
  • Jon Gitchoff for Riverfront Times

6. He's sorry Forest Park is so lovely.

CAROLINE YOO FOR RIVERFRONT TIMES
  • Caroline Yoo for Riverfront Times

7. He's sorry that St. Louis is home to 1.8 percent of the Fortune 1000 companies.

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8. And, finally, he's sorry iced tea was invented in St. Louis at the 1904 World's Fair. [What the everloving fuck does this man have against tea!?]

We get that the mayor was trying to highlight some things the American population may not know about St. Louis, but couldn't he have come up with better reasons/excuses than these?


Email the author at chad.garrison@riverfronttimes.com.

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