Need a backpack? Haircuts? A new outfit? We know exactly where you should go.
In the viral video promoting back-to-school specials, mall employees hawk their wares in nervously sing-song voices into an old-timey microphone over an anxious beatbox beat, resulting in an emotionally satisfying and extremely awkward thirty seconds.
The best part has to be the ending, where the only person with a modicum of singing training gets a completely unnecessary (but still enjoyable) callback.
People love this commercial so much that one YouTube user made a looping video of "East Hill's Backpack Girl" that's three-times longer than the commercial itself.
The Houston Astros tried to do a parody of the commercial. Spoiler alert: It's not as good.
And we're not buying the rumors that Rhett & Link, known for their fake local ads, are behind the video. This is pure St. Joseph talent, through and through.
Thank you, East Hills. Now come get your backpacks.