Fans of the St. Louis Cardinals, a.k.a. the best fans in baseball, were devastated to hear the team's linchpin and catcher Yadier Molina will be out for months after tearing a ligament in his thumb.
Molina was sliding into third base foot-first when he injured his hand, ending his hopes of playing in Tuesday's All-Star Game. The ball club announced that Molina will return after surgery and months of recovery.
When the news broke that Molina needs up to twelve weeks off, St. Louis sports took to Twitter with their wails of despair:
Well, the next 8-12 weeks will be the longest 8-12 weeks of our lives. Jesus, take the wheel!! #Yadi— haley king (@haley_king) July 10, 2014
I care more about Yadier Molina's right thumb than I do LeBron James's entire body.— Frank Murtaugh (@FrankMurtaugh) July 10, 2014
Ever superstitious, baseball fans started looking outside Busch Stadium for something (or someone) to blame. The easy target? Jonathan Lucroy, the Milwaukee Brewers catcher who released a tongue-in-cheek, mud-slinging ad in his campaign for All-Star catcher -- a title Molina's held for six straight games.
I hope I show as much concern for the health of my future children as I'm currently demonstrating for Yadier Molina's sprained thumb— Brock Benefiel (@brockbenefiel) July 10, 2014
Another fucked up thing about the timing of Yadi's injury is that now that faggot Lucroy will probably start the All Star game.— Mike B (@juggalon9ne) July 11, 2014
Your dreams have come true, douchebag #Brewers fans: Lucroy can start the All-Star Game now since Yadi needs surgery.— Matt Watts (@MWatts2389) July 10, 2014
Yadi is still better than lucroy with a broken spine so this doesn't affect shit— DonDonBabyy (@Just_Dolphin_) July 10, 2014
After all, Lucroy unleashed an anti-Cardinals video to unseat Molina from his earned spot in the All-Star Game weeks before Molina was injured.
I'm blaming the Brewers for Yadi's injury -- that video about Lucroy starting the All-Star Game was a curse.— Christine Coleman (@CColeman802) July 10, 2014
Police investigators searching Jonathon Lucroy's home have found a life size Yadier Molina doll. Curiously, it is missing a thumb.— In play, run(s) (@CardinalTales) July 10, 2014
When word officially came down that Lucroy was going to start in Tuesday's 2014 All-Star Game, the best fans in baseball weren't going to let him forget who won the fan vote:
Damn it. Now Lucroy gets to play in the all star game.— Drunk Fredbird (@DrunkFredbird) July 10, 2014
enjoy the start lucroy, you dont deserve it.— Kelly Veach (@aye_itskellay) July 10, 2014
YES! YADI IS INJURED! LUCROY GETS THE ASG START YAY— Tyler (@dragicmagic) July 10, 2014
@Legendkilla09 But I'm glad Molina won't start. He had no business starting ahead of Lucroy and Mes IMO. Damn cards fans stuffed ballot box— Corey Foister (@CoreyFoister) July 11, 2014
Don't feel bad for yadier Molina one bit. Now the Jonathan Lucroy can start as he deserves!— Matt (@Matt262626) July 10, 2014
Brewers fans reveling in Molina's bad luck just rubbed salt in Cardinals fans already-painful wounds:
Molina got hurt? Man, now the NL All-Star team is going to be even better. #Lucroy— Neil Hinton (@NeilHinton) July 10, 2014
I like how Brewers fans are rubbing Yadi's injury in our faces because their precious Lucroy is starting in the All-Star Game now.#Classless— Cardinal Nation™ (@STLCards_Nation) July 11, 2014
So Cards fans were already feeling understandably sensitive when they got another blow: During color commentary at Saturday's game between the two teams, former MLB player Gabe Kapler said it was "poetic justice" that Lucroy would start in the All-Star Game. And another round of Twitter fury began.
I've seen a lot of Brewers fans who are excited that Yadi might be injured so their precious Lucroy could start the ASG. #Classless— The Birds On The Bat (@birdsonthebat13) July 10, 2014
Gabe Kapler taking a shard of a broken bat in the ass would be poetic justice.— Pauly Walnuts (@pceichholz) July 12, 2014
Gabe Kapler makes me want to jam pencils into my ears. #SoBad— Todd Brandt (@TBisEZ) July 12, 2014
Wary of incurring the wrath of the best fans in baseball, Kapler send out a Twitter apology, saying he didn't mean to take joy in an injury:
"Gabe Kapler is literally Kony." -Best Fans in Baseball— klawthoughts (@KlawThoughts) July 13, 2014
But not everybody blamed Lucroy for Molina's bum thumb. Many looked to a galaxy far, far away for the answer:
Last year's Star Wars night claimed Shelby Miller, this year's takes out Yadier Molina. How about a Star Trek night next year, ya? #STLCards— JASE BANDELOW (@JASEBANDELOW) July 10, 2014
I'm blaming this Yadier Molina nonsense on Star Wars Night at the Ballpark.— Mary Rose (@theemaryrose) July 10, 2014
Because of this injury, I hate Star Wars night. Fuck you Chubacca #yadi— FakeMikeMatheny (@FakeMikeMatheny) July 10, 2014
happy birthday to da gawd Yadier Molina!— Tim Contic (@TimContic16) July 13, 2014
Wishing a happy birthday to my fav Yadier Molina!!!@Yadimolina04— ✝Madiii✝ (@madeepaige3) July 13, 2014