As David Freese leaves the Cardinals to play ball with Albert Pujols in Los Angeles, Daily RFT began to wonder: Who should fill the baseball all-star's three-year contract to be the spokester for St. Louis staple Imo's Pizza?
We have a few ideas.
1. Becky, Queen of Carpets
Since her St. Louis carpet kingdom crumbled this summer, Becky Rothman, the self-styled queen of carpets, probably doesn't have anything else to promote. We'd like to see her riding on a flying pizza, please.
2. Larry Conners
A judge recently said former KMOV-TV (Channel 2) reporter still can't work in TV news for another year, but that's no reason to waste his on-air talent. Put him to work investigating pizza! He'll keep the place honest, and Imo's won't investigate his tax record. Plus, imagine the incredible pizza-themed rants he'd post on Facebook.
3. Sarah Silverman
Jimmy Kimmel loves to make fun of Imo's Pizza, and who better to make fun of him back than his hilarious ex-girlfriend Sarah Silverman? We know she's not a St. Louisan, but we think she'd join in on the fun, especially if it means free pizza. Kimmel has talked smack about Imo's to former Office star Jenna Fischer, comedian Judah Friedlander and uber-hottie Jon Hamm.
Three more after the jump! 4. Mike Matheny
If it has to be a Cardinal, we suggest coach Matheny. If Imo's wants to sell boatloads of pizzas to sexually repressed soccer moms -- and believe us, they do! -- he's the clear No. 1 choice.
5. Kimora Lee Simmons
When a paparazzo on the street asked the fashion-diva-slash-mogul where he should go in St. Louis, Simmons was quick to rep her hometown's square beyond compare. In a KMOV video, Simmons orders her entourage out of her way so she can tell the photographer: "[St. Louis] is a place near and dear to my heart. You should go to Imo's Pizza, and you should get Red Hot Riplets."
6. Sam Bradford
Bradford has all our requirements for an Imo's spokester: He's a local sports star. He's not too busy at the moment. Plus, he even has experience. Remember all those Charter commercials?