Aaaarrrh, it's everyone favorite holiday, Talk Like a Pirate Day! Yes, today marks that time of year when we can celebrate our love of those murderous, raping, slave-having sea bandits -- or, uh, those heartwarming rapscallions who plied the seven seas in search of buried treasure. Ahoy!
In honor of today's holiday and our love for the buffoonish buccaneers of yore Daily RFT is proud to present our eight favorite pirate jokes.
1. A grizzled pirate captain runs into an old friend on the street. The old friend says, "I haven't seen you in a while, you look awful! What happened to your leg?" The pirate answers, "Got it shot off by a cannon ball. Got me a peg leg now."
"And what happened to your hand?" asks the old friend. The pirate replies, "Got it cut off in a sword fight. The surgeon fixed me right up and gave me this here hook."
"What about the eye-patch?" the old friend asks.
"A bird pooped in my eye, and I tried to wipe it away."
2. What's a pirate's worst nightmare on a blind date? A sunken chest and no booty!
3. A pirate walks into a bar with his ship's steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, what's the deal with the steering wheel?'
The Pirate responds, "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts."
4. How much did it cost for the pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck-an-ear!