A fake penis did not save Lake St. Louis man Sydney Levin from his mandatory drug test.
That is according to officials with the St. Charles Police Department who say that officers noticed Levin, 34, was not using his real penis when he was giving a urine sample during a mandatory drug test.
He was using the Whizzinator.
What is that you ask? Don't worry, Daily RFT has done some good old-fashioned fake-penis research for you this morning.
First, the details on the alleged crime. KSDK-TV (Channel 5) reports that the St. Charles County Prosecuting Attorney's Office has charged Levin -- not related to yours truly, by the way -- with "possession of a forging instrument."
He was allegedly using this prosthetic penis in an attempt to pass a probation drug test.
It's safe to say the trick did not go as planned.
He posted $25,000 bond last week and was released, the station says.
Now: the Whizzinator.
TheWhizzinator.com has this useful video -- with a classic fake-pee elevator jazz soundtrack! -- on the product:
The Whizzinator Touch, the full name of the product, is a "disease-free synthetic urine device" which includes "medical-grade urine," an "ultra-quiet flow system" -- and is very easy to use.
They've got 'em white, tan, Latino, brown and black, the website says.
It's lifelike, too. The "most...realistic fake penis out on the market," apparently.
The product comes with heat pads, a syringe and more!
Continue for some potentially NSFW photos of the Whizzinator in action.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club
Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.
Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.
Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.