Picture, if you will, that you are standing in between two people. Look to your right, then to your left. If you are standing in this little huddle in Missouri 20 years from today, more than likely two of the three of you will be obese.
At least, that's the vision of the future a new report out from the Trust for America's Health sees. According to their figures, by the year 2030, well over half of all Missourians will be obese.
That's right. Fat people are literally going to take over Missouri in the laziest coup d'état ever.
To arrive at their projections, the F as in Fat 2012 report used annual Centers for Disease Control figures. Our current obesity rate is 30.3 percent, landing us in the top twelve fattest states. At that rate of, ahem, growth, we'll more than double our obesity rate to 61.9 percent by 2030.
Missouri doesn't even top of the list of "most dominated by obese people." Mississippi takes that honor with 66.7, followed by Oklahoma and Delaware. Missouri ranked ninth in the country.
Health-care costs related to obesity are projected to go up 13.9 percent:
Over the next 20 years, obesity could contribute to 843,420 new cases of type 2 diabetes, 1,760,591 new cases of coronary heart disease and stroke, 1,585,199 new cases of hypertension, 1,016,888 new cases of arthritis, and 241,389 new cases of obesity-related cancer in Missouri.
Whelp, should we all start doing shots of pink slime and get it over with?
Not so fast. The more optimistic flip side that the report offers is how much money we could save as a state if we somehow manage to reduce the average body mass index by 5 percent in 2030. (A 5 percent reduction in BMI for a 200 pound, 6-foot tall person would mean losing 10 pounds.)
According to the report, if Missouri would just collectively follow our damn New Year's resolution, we'll save $13,368,000,000 in the same 20 year time period. To us, that just reads "infinity dollars."