There's sort of an unwritten rule against naming your son Jesus -- or maybe it's just unwritten in Spanish.-- Dayo Adesokan (@PerDiemPerDayo) June 9, 2012
Just so we're clear, covering my body in raw meat and swimming in shark infested waters is not "killing myself", it's just being "ballzy"-- Steven Poggi (@stevepoggi) June 23, 2012
I thought the question of women not being as funny as men was settled after men made 2,300 funny movies and women made 'Bridesmaids.'-- Joe Murray (@ComicJoeMurray) June 20, 2012
Hipster irony is going to get to the point in which the coolest bars are full of guys looking and acting like Alan Thicke in Growing Pains.-- Zack Stovall(@ZStovall) June 21, 2012
This might sound socialist but I believe in the distribution of cheese dust evenly to all Doritos. #sorrydad-- Scott A. James (@ScottyJames81) June 23, 2012
"Do the curtains match the magic carpet?"- how to hit on a sexy genie cuz people keep asking me.-- Erik Anker (@erikforserious) June 23, 2012
No, Hall and Oats. YOU make MY dreams come true. *Heart symbol*-- Jonathan Venegoni (@JonVenegoni) June 24, 2012
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