Birther Bill Gains Initial Approval in Missouri House -- Are You Shitting Me?


Are you still worried about this? Your legislators are.
  • Are you still worried about this? Your legislators are.
Representative Lyle Rowland (R-Cedarcreek) successfully moved his "birther" bill through its initial reading in the Missouri House of Representatives yesterday. The bill (HB1046, read it here)  would require any presidential or vice presidential candidate to prove via birth certificate and a sworn oath that they are an American citizen before the candidate can appear on the ballot in Missouri. Another reading of the bill is required before it can go to the Senate for a vote.

Rowland denies that his bill was inspired by the furor over President Barrack Obama's own birth certificate. You know what? I support him.
HB1046, if it successfully wends its way through the legislative process, will take effect no sooner than 2016, so it will have no effect on this current election in which Obama is the presumptive democratic candidate. Assuming Obama wins this round, he can't run again. Assuming he loses, he won't run again because even the democrats won't give another chance to a candidate who lost the Big One -- that's why Al Gore is working in internet TV now.

So who does this really affect? Most likely, the republican candidates of the future. As near as I've been able to determine, Rick Santorum was born in a log cabin in 1815 -- he's gonna have a hell of a time producing a birth certificate. Mitt Romney will encounter a different set of problems, namely that you can show me certificates of live birth, long-form certificates and publicly notarized documents till the cows come home, but I'm never gonna believe that "Mitt" is anyone's name.

So come on, Missouri legislature. Ram this bill through the system and make it a law. Do it for the jokes.


Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.