Gentlemen: Stacey Newman, Missouri state representative, wants to handle your balls.
Well, well, well. The birth-control debate has finally come to our
swimsuit areas, gentlemen. Yesterday Missouri State Representative Stacey Newman (D-St. Louis County) filed HB1853, which would only allow a man to have a vasectomy when doing so would protect him from serious injury or prevent his death.
Ah, the legislation's on the other set of genitalia now.
Rep. Newman -- whom I'd like to nominate for Hero Squad right here and now -- has been frustrated with the recent political debates over birth control access and reproductive health. The legislation is her pointed way of combating the idea that family planning is something only women have to worry about.
If passed, HB1853 will insure that vasectomies will only be performed in medical facilities licensed by the Department of Health and Senior Services, such as a hospital, ambulatory surgery center or similarly designated health facility. Vasectomies will be legal and safe, and the back-alley ballsnipper that so many indigent
men are forced to seek out when they want to get their junk switched
off will become a thing of the past. For too long, men have butchered themselves using weed-whackers, small chainsaws and footballs to the groin so that they could no longer father children they didn't want to be a father to. HB1853 will bring us to a more enlightened age.
Also, it could conceivably cause one of those right-wing bible-fondlers who are so certain that they have the authority to dictate what women can do with their bodies to choke on both indignation and irony. Bitter, bitter irony.
Rep. Stacey Newman, you got a great big pair of brass balls. Never change.