If You Find A Stiff with A Stiffy, Coming Through The Rye ...


Real Housewife Bethany Frankel should also be illegal.
  • Real Housewife Bethany Frankel should also be illegal.
The Law is a strange thing, and the people who make it sometimes find themselves having the most indelicate conversations.

Representative Dan Beiser (D-Alton) recently proposed a law that would make sex with a corpse illegal in the state of Illinois. It's not knee-jerk response to the rise of zombie slash-fic, but rather came about in the course of drafting a law to criminalize the dumping of bodies, a recurring problem on the East Side.

Madison County State Attorney Tom Gibbons presented the idea to Rep. Beiser, and in the course of Gibbons' research he discovered one case of committed necrophilia that went unpunished because there was no law in place.

To that person we say, "Eurgh."

More importantly, this law makes it illegal to move a dead body away from a crime scene. So all those overdose cases where the body is dumped outside a hospital's ER are now crimes, as are the scenes of the overdoses. Police want to insure the best possible conditions for investigation at these sites, and moving the victim's body often impedes the process.

As far as the whole corpse-lovin' problem, it's not often but it does happen. All instances save the one mentioned involve sickos who murder and rape someone -- in that order -- and then claim it wasn't rape because the person was dead.

To those people also, we say "Eurgh," and "get the hell out of here with that shit."


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