Nyjer Morgan is *@&%$ing Crazy


On Twitter, Nyjer Morgan goes by the alias "Tony Plush" whose mentor is Chad Ochocinco. Seriously.
  • On Twitter, Nyjer Morgan goes by the alias "Tony Plush" whose mentor is Chad Ochocinco. Seriously.
Nyjer Morgan, outfielder for the Milwaukee Brewers, caused quite a stir in last night's game. After striking out in the ninth inning against Chris Carpenter, Morgan went absolutely berserk, shouting obscenities at Carpenter and throwing his chewing tobacco toward the mound. 

Morgan claimed afterward Carp started the whole fracas by shouting some sort of curse at him earlier in the game, which, in fairness, would not be completely out of character for Chris Carpenter. After all, we've seen Carp screaming plenty of what appear to be very unpleasant things at plenty of players since he's been in a Cardinal uniform. It's kind of charming, really, in the way that dangerous sociopaths often are charming. You know, like a Hannibal Lecter type thing, only with a baseball instead of whatever it was Lecter used to kill people. 

Carpenter himself claims Morgan was mouthing off and screaming at him all game, which doesn't seem all that out of character for Nyjer Morgan. Then again, wouldn't you expect a baseball version of Hannibal Lecter to deflect the blame by pointing out how crazy someone else is acting? Of course you would. 
After all, this is the same guy who tried to take Bryan Anderson out at home plate when Morgan was with the Nationals, even though Anderson was standing a full three feet away from the plate. He has a rather long history of odd behaviour even aside from the conflicts with various Cardinals, as well. He isn't quite Milton Bradley just yet, but he also isn't exactly the furthest thing from either. 

So cursing, throwing chewing tobacco, and inciting a benches-clearing situation by putting himself in the middle of Albert Pujols -- who claimed to be taking steps to protect his pitcher, but I think just wanted a piece of Morgan for himself -- is actually kind of tame for this guy. 

Of course, in the tradition of all great sporting asshats of recent years, Morgan took to his Twitter account after the game to continue taunting the Cardinals. Under his alias Tony Plush -- really? -- he wrote the following

"Alberta couldn't see Plush if she had her gloves on!!! Wat was she thinking running afta Plush!!! She never been n tha ring!!!" 

Ignoring for a fact that virtually none of that makes any actual sense to non-crazy people, let's just translate. 

"Albert Pujols made a very poor decision approaching me on the field. In any sort of combat situation, I would, in fact, simply move too rapidly for Albert to follow, as I believe his own experience in fisticuffs is quite limited." 

There we go. Makes sense now, right? Well, sort of. 

Okay, so what we have here is Nyjer Morgan, who goes 6'0" and 170 pounds (both of which seem generous to me; the dude is small), calling Albert Pujols Alberta and essentially telling the world he would kick Albert's ass. Pujols, by the way, is 6'3" and 230, and if anything that weight number is a tad on the low side. He's huge. Chris Carpenter is 6'6" and 230 lbs. I've stood next to Chris Carpenter, and he is terrifying. I would not under any circumstances yell and/or throw anything I've chewed at Chris Carpenter no matter how much you paid me. 

I'm all for the wiry little scrappy guys who like to fight, but Nyjer Morgan taunting Pujols and Carpenter on Twitter is like a river otter taunting a pair of grizzly bears on whatever the bear version of Twitter is. Roarer, maybe. Ugh. I'm really ashamed of myself for that joke. 

At the very least, you should go follow Morgan's Twitter feed. Seriously, the guy is nuts. 


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